8 Habits of Healthy Families

Here’s a disclaimer: Healthy Families are NOT Perfect Families. They may grab a pizza for dinner or let their kids watch too much TV one day. Their kids throw temper tantrums and insist they must wear the same shirt 3 days in a row. And guess what? It’s OK! The biggest thing is that we’re trying. I was inspired to write this post after this article on extraordinarily healthy families. I thought some of the tips were really great, and wanted to add some of my own advice and experiences to it.

Some of these tips you may already do and there might be some new ideas for your family to try. Don’t get overwhelmed trying to make all these a habit with your family in one day or even one week. Remember: it’s our small, daily efforts that add up to big results!

1.Get Outside And Play

With the weather cooling down,  the temperature is perfect for afternoon and early evening playtime. Cold winter months means lots of time indoors, so take advantage of the nice weather and play outside as much as possible!

“Ideally that means, for children, some kind of physical activity every day, and for adults, a minimum of four days a week,” clinical psychologist Steve Orma says

Kick a soccer ball in the grass, play catch, draw silly pictures with chalk, visit the park, or ride bikes and scooters. Use this time to develop healthy habits, but also to bond as a family.

2. Have a NO PHONE zone

With younger kids, this can mean a NO SCREEN TIME zone. I typically power off my devices for an hour or two each day so I can focus on my children and spend quality time with them. When my phone is powered off I’m not tempted to sneak a peek at my messages. For some families, the no phone zone is during homework time or dinner time. Other families have a drawer or other charging station where phones go at bedtime so no one can use them after a certain time. Do what works best for you family.

3. Make Meal Prep a Family Activity

Why should mom do all the work when it comes to meal prep? Mealtime is a great opportunity to teach children healthy eating habits and cooking skills they’ll use later in life. You can talk to your family about why what you’re eating is healthy and good for your body. If you cook certain things like chicken ahead of time to use throughout the week, have kids help you scoop up the portions of chicken and transfer it into a freezer bag or Tupperware. Most young kids are eager to help in the kitchen, it’s usually the adult who shoos them away.

“Take them to the grocery store and help them learn to read labels. Choose a recipe together and then say, ‘Let’s get your ingredients.’”

For older kids, try teaching them a simple meal to make, doing it once together. Then, the next time you make it, have them do most of it on their own. I know families who have their older children in charge of a dinner each week.

4. Organize Your Schedules Around Good Health

“To keep your family on the track toward healthy living, try getting a calendar and putting it in a place where everyone in the family can see. Then use it: Schedule the night the kids are in charge of making dinner. Add the once-a-month family bike ride to the park or the weekly driveway basketball game.”

Don’t do something once and then never do it again. Writing it on a calendar and part of your normal routine will help make these ideas into healthy habits that are just part of your normal family life.

5. Rethink Snacktime

The easiest way to tackle this is to get the junk out of the house and fill it with healthy options (for tips, see my post on cleaning out the junk). Make healthy foods accessible to your family (keep them in a bowl on the counter or on a low shelf in the fridge), and if you haven’t already, make sure each member of your family has their own reusable water bottle.

6. Communicate

I heard a great family tip the other week: another mom shared with me that the first Sunday of each month is a time when the parents have a one on one council with each child. They keep it informal and just ask about how things are going and if the child has any problems or concerns they want to talk about. I love this idea and can see how it would be especially beneficial if you have school aged children!

“Mental health, sleep, experiences at school and how they’re interacting with others are so closely linked, and if something is bothering or troubling a child, it will affect their overall well-being.”

Of course dinnertime, rides to school, and when your playing outside together are all other great times to talk openly as a family. Make communicating a fun part of your day where all members of your family take turns talking and listening to others. 

7. Wind Down Together

Try to establish a strong bedtime routine and make it a family affair (even if your kids go to bed earlier than you). Get things ready for the next day such as lunches, homework and outfits. Read books together, tell each other what you were thankful for that day, and start to relax and unwind. Experts suggest to give yourself at least 1 hour to unwind before bed…so if you want your kids in bed by 8, start your routine at 7.

I know a mom who tells her kids she will read books to them until 8pm. So that means if they can get in PJs with brushed teeth and go potty quickly, they have more time to read. But some nights they drag their feet and complain and only have 10 minutes to read. I thought this was a clever idea.

8. Keep Exercise Fun

Staying healthy and active is a life-long habit. What is your attitude when it comes to working out? Do your kids hear you grumbling and complaining? You are their example for healthy living…a lot of times your attitude becomes their attitude. Don’t be afraid to try new activities or to ask your children what they would like to do.

We went paddle boarding on our recent family vacation for the first time with our little buddies. They sat really good and just chilled while we were on the lake. It was fun, relaxing, and a workout all at the same time!  For more tips on keeping exercise fun, see my post on incorporating kids into your fitness routine.

Moms! Be Easy on Yourself, you are doing better than you think!

As women we let ourselves feel so much shame…

We feel shame if all of our friends are married but not us. We feel shame if we cant have children or miscarry.  We feel shame when we think that we don’t have as many talents as other women.

When becoming a mom…  we can easily let ourselves feel so much shame very day.  We become discouraged and feel like a failure when we can’t keep up with our home.  We feel shame when we yell at our children or are not as patient with them as we would like to be.  We feel like we don’t play with them enough. etc.

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Watch this clip! —>  https://www.facebook.com/crystalallredfitness/videos/931277373648863/

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Do you ever feel like you are completely failing as a mom?  Do you ever see how #supermom other moms are and compare yourself to them?  Do you see all of these wonderful things moms do on social media and think.. “man I am lucky just to feed, bath, change, and put to bed my kids each day!”.

You can easily become discouraged, feel unhappy with your life, feel trapped, or feel shame if you focus on those things each day that go wrong!

Moms— focus each day on what you DID RIGHT!!!  You are doing so many things for your family whether you see it or not! Don’t let yourself focus on your weaknesses or the things that you didn’t accomplish!

A few things I recommend:

1- Write down the things that you did RIGHT today!  If you are struggling with feeling purpose and happiness in your day as a mom- write down at least one thing that brought you JOY that day or made you feel grateful.

2- Find joy in the little things!  As a mom of 2 children we adopted and not being able to have children for over 7 years… I learned to find so much peace, gratitude and joy in seeing messes everywhere!!  Seeing sweet little hand prints on all the glass. Seeing toys drug out out through the entire house.  Seeing lots of little clothes that need folded and put away.  Find joy in preparing fun snacks and meals for your children.  Find joy in being silly with them during bath time.  Find joy in getting on the floor with them and playing with them while your phone is turned off.

3- Read or Listen to personal development books that help you to feel like you are a better mom!  Read books about your child’s age and what is developmentally appropriate.  Read books that help you to no longer compare yourself to other moms.  Books that help you to no longer focus on your imperfections, etc.  As a mom– I don’t have TIME to read so I listen to them while cleaning.  I am always listening to something every day that helps me to be stronger as a mom and gain stronger relationships with my husband and children.  You are welcome to email me if you want some personal development recommendations crystalallredfitness@gmail.com

4- Take care of YOU!!  If you are not your best mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  It is hard to feel like you are being the best mom you can be.  Be sure to take care of you so that you can better take care of the needs of your children.

5- Learn how to prioritize!  Most of us moms expect too much out of our day!  We have our to-do lists (in mind or on paper) of the things we have to get done that day. And we have way too many things on our list!  learn to let go! learn to just put the few most important things and forget about the rest! Then tackle the thing you dread the most FIRST THING so that you get the momentum and umph you need to accomplish the rest.

6- Be real, be raw, and know that you are not alone in the journey!  Moms- I guarantee you that you are not alone!!  Stop comparing yourself to other moms! These #supermoms that you think just have everything pulled together– really are a hot mess!!  We are all seriously just a hot mess!!  All of us moms are in this together and struggle!  Don’t ever let yourself think that you are the only one!  Be real, be raw, and share your experiences.  Encourage and uplift other moms that you see are struggling!  We are a team in the journey!

“Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one!”

Our Journey with Infertility, Miscarriage, and Ectopic Pregnancy

For some reason I always had this feeling that it would be really hard for me to have children.  When we got married, we had every intention to wait at least a year before having children.   However, unexpectedly only 3 months later we had discovered that we were expecting our first baby. We were so excited!!  My husband LOVES children and is so good with them and was ready to be a daddy.  Children have always been my main focus and my life ever sense I was very young.  So even though it was not expected… we were so ready and so excited!!

A couple weeks later we were out of town and we saw a yard sale with this PERFECT crib and changing table that was basically brand new and at a ridiculously low price.  So we set up our nursery!!  I sat in that room often- completely filled with joy!!

Soon….  that room changed from a room of joy and hope… to a room of sadness.   I went to work just like any other day.  But that day was different.  I left work, went to the hospital, and there found out that we were miscarrying.  I don’t even know how I drove home that 30 mile drive… I was a complete mess emotionally and in a lot of discomfort physically.

It was a really a hushed thing.  I didn’t want ANYONE to know!!  I hated that we had to tell our parents.  I hated that I had nobody who understood.  Miscarriage is so taboo…. nobody talks about it. Or if it is brought up– the subject is quickly changed.  I was so confused.  I didn’t understand how it could have happened.

I grew really close to my husband the next couple of months to follow.  But he didn’t struggle with it quite like I did… he just struggled with seeing me hurt.  But I knew how much he wanted to be a dad!

We wanted to try and have a baby as soon as we could.  But tried for months and never had any success…   After MANY doctor visits, and the doctors saying that “you are still young– you have plenty of time”  I became more and more frustrated because nothing was being done to make this happen.    Finally after a year we found out we were expecting again!!  I was so THRILLED and so ready to finally give my husband a baby.

However… something seemed “different” with this pregnancy.  I thought that maybe different was a good thing.  But then I started to have sharp pains on one side and started to spot.  I knew that this “different” couldn’t be a good thing.  I figured I was miscarrying again and had no desire to even go to the doctor.  But for some reason I had the feeling that I needed to go in.  I headed to the hospital where they then ran some tests.  The nurses said that the test was now negative and that I miscarried….   however the doctor came out and said “something is off, we need to get you in for another ultrasound”.   In I went…   usually only 1 person does my ultrasound.  This time there were 3.  Next, they had the person over the ultrasounds come in followed by my doctor.   There I lay wondering why there were 5 people discussing my ultrasound.  At that moment I had wished so much that my husband was there with me as I sat there in confusion.  They announced that it was ectopic and could become life threatening.   Back into the doctors office I went where they discussed what was going on and the action we would take.   He asked if I wanted to enjoy my thanksgiving (the following day) and I told him that nothing would change what was already going on…

So….  they started to give me a type of chemo shot (wish I remembered what it was called) to stop the cells from developing and bursting my Fallopian Tube.   I was very sick and tired for that thanksgiving.  But more than anything… I was embarrassed.  I hated that the family knew and there I was.  I felt like I was this pity bulls eye and nobody knew how to even talk to me or act around me.   I faked a smile every day.  I pretended like I was okay but emotionally I was not.  I couldn’t let myself cry.    Every other day I would go in to get more blood drawn for lab work.  Week after week I would go in for another chemo shot.  After about 5 weeks of this process, I went into the doctors office for more testing and another shot.  This time I said to my doctor “I just don’t know how much longer I can be positive through this”.  He told me I didn’t have to be…    For the first time I broke down and completely sobbed.  I released a full years worth of pain right there in the doctors office and on my drive home.

Time passed and we were ready to try having a baby again.  Month after month I had a negative test and would cry and wonder why it wasn’t happening for us.  After many doctor visits, getting on chlomid, and many more months of negative tests we finally conceived 2 more times… which again ended in miscarriage.

With each miscarriage, I began to hate my body more and more. I hated that it wouldn’t do what a women’s body should do.  I hated that I couldn’t give my husband any children and wished he would leave me to be with someone who could…   I started to hate if my husband touched me.  I hated if anyone talked to me.  I avoided people.  I often avoided my husband.  I hated who I was.  I didn’t care to exercise or eat healthy.  I figured my body was failing me anyway so why bother.  I felt unworthy of love and emotionally distanced myself from the person that loved me most.  I spent many days in that little baby nursery in our home wondering if and when I should just throw it all away.

Then… out of nowhere… we were asked if we wanted to take in a sweet little 5 month old.  We immediately said yes without hesitation.  For the first time, I became a mommy and my husband became a daddy!  Picking him up was one of the happiest days of my life!!  I had no idea that the 18 months to follow would be yet another emotional roller coaster.  We wanted his birth parents to make the changes necessary to bring him back home… but at the same time we wondered how on earth we would ever be able to give him back.  I spent many nights holding him wondering how I was going to do it.   We had so much love for that sweet little boy.  When his sister born, I was so ecstatic.  We went to the hospital to pick her up and bring her home.   We immediately fell in love with her too!

1 month later… we got positive test. I was SO HOPEFUL and just knew that it was finally time!  I knew that If did have children easily  we wouldn’t have been open to the opportunity of taking in two very small foster children and wouldn’t have been able to give all that love to our boy and girl!  So I knew that now that we had them– it was time to finally have a successful pregnancy.  Yet, we then again at 10 weeks miscarried.   I had a 2 month old little girl, and a 16 month old little boy that I had to be strong for!  I was so hopeful just to be disappointed again and it really, really, hurt this time more than ever before because I let myself hope.

After that point– I couldn’t let myself hope anymore.  I figured we would just have to give our kids back to their birth parents. I figured I would never be a permanent mommy to a child.  I figured I would never be able to allow my husband to be a daddy.  I was so sick of the scene and had no desire to ever try again.  So we stopped going to doctors, we stopped caring but didn’t take any action to prevent us from having children.

Six months later we were completely taken away when we went to court and found out that our little boy and out little girl were going to be forever ours!  We finally were going to be able to adopt our sweet little babies!  We didn’t have to worry about giving them back anymore… they were finally ours!

I remember holding my sweet little girl and realizing that I needed to work on ME emotionally, mentally and physically.  I didn’t want her to learn from me how to hate her body… how to be a quitter… how to never hope for great things… and how to feel unlovable.  I had to change for her!!  I wanted her to feel beautiful! I wanted her to love herself!  I wanted her to reach for big dreams!

So I started on a journey.  I started working on my health and fitness instead of neglecting my body that I hated.  I started doing nutrition and fitness groups through Facebook with friends  (and some wonderful people I didn’t know but who are such great friends now) where we would help keep each other motivated and accountable every single day! You can do these free groups by applying here -> https://callred.wufoo.com/forms/r8o3oli1xcz244/
I also started to do daily personal development to work on myself mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

Month after month, my life began to change!  My STORY CHANGED!  I went from “I am unlovable”, “I hate myself”, “I don’t deserve to be a mom”, “I am the worst wife ever”, to the following story–>  “I deserve to be a mom”, “I take care of my body and am happy about what it CAN DO”, “I am LOVABLE!”.   I felt confident for the first time sense 4th grade.  I felt happy instead of faking a smile.   And I  liked ME for the first time!

Now, almost 2 years later and 7 1/2 years of struggling with infertility and failed pregnancies,   I am now 32 weeks pregnant.  I am overwhelmed with the blessings in my life.    We got on progesterone, lots of natural folate, and Enoxaparin Sodium shots.  I also have continued eating healthier, exercising every day, working on my mindset, and drinking Shakeology (over 70 superfoods to provide the best nutrition for me and baby possible).   Some days it seems so surreal that this is actually happening!!    Soon we will be a mommy and daddy to 3 beautiful children…  I went from believing I would never be a mom to soon being a mommy of 3 (ages birth to 3).   Every week goes by and more stress is relieved as I get closer to our due date and knowing that we are closer to our sweet little boy being in our arms!

It has been a hard 7 1/2 years… but I wouldn’t change it!!  I finally became stronger, healthier, more confident and the wife and mom I need to be.  All of the disappointment, all of the pain, all of the emotional roller coasters, helped me to take ACTION to finally invest in myself and change my life.  I finally made a COMMITMENT, and CHOICE to change!

If you are struggling with any of these things, don’t loose hope…   Find JOY in the JOURNEY!  While you are hoping for things… don’t forget to notice what is going WELL right now!  Find joy in something now.  Do something that gives you purpose.  For me– that was getting a degree.  That was finding joy in learning how to play the violin.  That was spending lots of quality time with my husband. That was becoming an online coach and helping other people emotionally, mentally, and with their health and fitness journey.  Find what gives you purpose.  Keep a gratitude journal that you write in each night so that you are focusing on the things that are good in your life instead of the heartache and the things you wish you had.  And lastly, take CARE OF YOU and know that you are never alone in the journey!

Why Not Be a Beachbody Coach?

——All of my life, all that I ever wanted was just to be a MOM!!! – – – – –

I wanted so badly to be a mom but also to be a stay-at-home mom. My hopes began to be pretty shattered when we tried for years to have a baby… with no success…. I didn’t want to just wait for that time to come. So I got a degree and started to work with children for my career.

Randomly and unexpectedly, God had a plan for us that we didn’t know about. We were suddenly blessed with the opportunity to receive 2 small children into our home. That later turned into the opportunity of adoption!

My dreams were starting to happen but I was still working. I LOVED my job and the people I worked with, but desired so much just to be home with my babies. SO I decided to quit my job (this was really hard for me!!) I searched for a few months and prayed so much for an opportunity to work from home!! BUT NOTHING felt right… Finally, I heard about an opportunity to work from home as an online fitness coach. I was very hesitant to do something like that and had SO MANY doubts!! But then I decided to research into it and pray about it. I knew that it was exactly what I was supposed to do!!

Coaching has not only helped us financially but has also changed me into becoming healthier, happier, and a better wife and mom! I LOVE coaching because It isn’t a network marketing business from home where you are just selling product…. instead, you are sincerely trying to help people change their lives!!! There is so much purpose and joy every single day of my life! It is such a blessing to find a purpose in every day life and earn a full time income all from home!

I want to be able to provide some information for you moms/dads or women who are looking for something that you can do from home! I am currently expanding my team and would love to mentor you and help you to find the same kind of success that the women on my team are finding!!

This opportunity has completely changed my life!!! I have become so much more healthier, happier, and more fit! I have become more confident and positive. I am a more energetic mom! And I LOVE being able to spend all the time I need and want with my children and husband while still running a business!!! This last 6 MONTHS I have been so sick… with this pregnancy that I haven’t been able to work much on my business BUT this week I still had my highest paycheck ever! (paid weekly). I am so excited about the opportunities this has provided me and my family! I am excited about what is going to come in the future! This is changing our lives!! —–

>>> If you want to be a #fitmom for your job, send me an email and I can get you some info. I have a Coach Sneak Peak Facebook Event going on for 1 hour on Thursday night!! You can just be a fly on the wall if you wish and learn more about it to see if it is a good fit for you and your family. I am excited for you to find success and joy like so many of the coaches on my team! Send me an email if you want an invite to the online event OR I can send you all your info to your email so that you can learn more!

Email: crystalallredfitness@gmail.com

Nashville or Bust! Coach Summit 2016

I used to NEVER go anywhere without Levi. I hated doing things alone or doing new things. I REFUSED to do anything out of the norm and avoided going to large events where there is any socialization involved.

This is something that is way out of my comfort zone. However, I am growing in so many aspects of my life by being a coach!!

The 2016 Beachbody Coach Summit was in Nashville and I jumped at the change to attend with my fellow friends and coaches. We drove to Denver, boarded a plane, and off to Nashville we went!

I went to coach summit because last year it completely changed me!!  I went from someone who had no confidence, struggled to get out of bed every morning, feeling like I was not growing or becoming who I wanted to be, to being someone who lives each day with so much joy and purpose.  I became a better individual, mom, wife, coach and stronger in every aspect of my life!  I refuse to let moments that make me stronger pass me by!  

The best thing about summit is the unity that you feel as you are surrounded by THOUSANDS of people who are working on being stronger spiritually, mentally, and physically and helping others to do the same.  I love celebration night as we celebrate the transformations (inside and out) of our challengers!  This night is VERY SHOWY with small concerts, performers, fireworks, and transformation stories.   So much of my life and heart goes into helping my challengers to become happier, healthier and live more fulfilling lives!  It is so exciting to see the challenge winners win $20,000-$100,000 on stage and to see how much their lives have completely changed!  It makes all of the ups and downs of coaching that much more rewarding as we see how much it really can and does change lives!  The programs WORK!!  And I am here to make sure that you are able to get the results that you are looking for and will be there to support you and help you, not just for 30 days but for as long as you let me!

Being able to celebrate the successes of my team and other coaches and challengers is one of the main reasons I wanted to attend the summit. That’s what I love about this business! We’re not COMPETING against one another, we’re COMPLETING one another and able to cheer each other on. Everyone is so helpful to support one another and everyone wants you to succeed in your business.

And there’s just something about being around “your people”–Love being a mommy but I love that I get that break as a coach just to talk to adults, feel like I am making a difference, and spend time with like-minded people that build me up!!

While at the summit, I loved working out and getting the best fitness and nutrition tips from top trainers. They really know their stuff and now I get to pass that knowledge onto you!

So inspiring and neat to be a part of this summit! What an amazing night to see all of these amazing challengers with HUGE transformations. There are so many things in our lives that pop up that give us an excuse to not workout or not eat healthy, or not make a change in our life!! But the thing is…. those things are just… EXCUSES!  So many excuses are out there— Time, its just genetic, too tired, money, kids, work, etc. — Don’t let anything hold you back! Kick all the excuses to the curb and be the best you that you can be!

 

There is no way that I would have enjoyed a workout a couple years ago— let alone enjoy a workout while being in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy! But my team and my challengers helped me to be so much more motivated and accountable until it became part of my lifestyle. I love this lifestyle!!

And even though the summit was our main priority, coaches are just people too! We’re silly and we indulge in cheat meals every once and a while! One cheat meal won’t make you fat, just like one salad won’t make you skinny—it’s all about moderation and discipline. I couldn’t help but indulge in the world famous donut burger while I was here! (‘Cause you just can’t get one of those where I’m from!)

One of my favorite parts of the whole summit was when a lady who had cerebral palsy spoke to us.  Everyone told her everything she couldn’t do and would never be able to do.  She went through many challenges yet she continually proves the world wrong!  She walk, has a very successful career as a comedian and speaker, is married, takes care of herself, and lives a happy and fulfilling life despite her hardships and limitations.   It was powerful to watch her and listen to her!  If SHE CAN— ANYONE CAN reach any goal they desire!!!   WHY NOT YOU???  WHY NOT NOW???   if you want something— go get it!!  I believe that good desires are planted in our hearts and minds because we are meant to achieve them.  God would not plant those desires unless they were our potential.  We do not know the time it will take or how many hardships you will go through to get there, but you will get there!!   FIGHT for what you want.  WORK HARD, and be PATIENT in the process!