As women we let ourselves feel so much shame…
We feel shame if all of our friends are married but not us. We feel shame if we cant have children or miscarry. We feel shame when we think that we don’t have as many talents as other women.
When becoming a mom… we can easily let ourselves feel so much shame very day. We become discouraged and feel like a failure when we can’t keep up with our home. We feel shame when we yell at our children or are not as patient with them as we would like to be. We feel like we don’t play with them enough. etc.
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Do you ever feel like you are completely failing as a mom? Do you ever see how #supermom other moms are and compare yourself to them? Do you see all of these wonderful things moms do on social media and think.. “man I am lucky just to feed, bath, change, and put to bed my kids each day!”.
You can easily become discouraged, feel unhappy with your life, feel trapped, or feel shame if you focus on those things each day that go wrong!
Moms— focus each day on what you DID RIGHT!!! You are doing so many things for your family whether you see it or not! Don’t let yourself focus on your weaknesses or the things that you didn’t accomplish!
A few things I recommend:
1- Write down the things that you did RIGHT today! If you are struggling with feeling purpose and happiness in your day as a mom- write down at least one thing that brought you JOY that day or made you feel grateful.
2- Find joy in the little things! As a mom of 2 children we adopted and not being able to have children for over 7 years… I learned to find so much peace, gratitude and joy in seeing messes everywhere!! Seeing sweet little hand prints on all the glass. Seeing toys drug out out through the entire house. Seeing lots of little clothes that need folded and put away. Find joy in preparing fun snacks and meals for your children. Find joy in being silly with them during bath time. Find joy in getting on the floor with them and playing with them while your phone is turned off.
3- Read or Listen to personal development books that help you to feel like you are a better mom! Read books about your child’s age and what is developmentally appropriate. Read books that help you to no longer compare yourself to other moms. Books that help you to no longer focus on your imperfections, etc. As a mom– I don’t have TIME to read so I listen to them while cleaning. I am always listening to something every day that helps me to be stronger as a mom and gain stronger relationships with my husband and children. You are welcome to email me if you want some personal development recommendations firstname.lastname@example.org
4- Take care of YOU!! If you are not your best mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. It is hard to feel like you are being the best mom you can be. Be sure to take care of you so that you can better take care of the needs of your children.
5- Learn how to prioritize! Most of us moms expect too much out of our day! We have our to-do lists (in mind or on paper) of the things we have to get done that day. And we have way too many things on our list! learn to let go! learn to just put the few most important things and forget about the rest! Then tackle the thing you dread the most FIRST THING so that you get the momentum and umph you need to accomplish the rest.
6- Be real, be raw, and know that you are not alone in the journey! Moms- I guarantee you that you are not alone!! Stop comparing yourself to other moms! These #supermoms that you think just have everything pulled together– really are a hot mess!! We are all seriously just a hot mess!! All of us moms are in this together and struggle! Don’t ever let yourself think that you are the only one! Be real, be raw, and share your experiences. Encourage and uplift other moms that you see are struggling! We are a team in the journey!
“Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one!”