It is sad to me that as women- young and old, we say such harsh things to ourselves in our thoughts… As I think about the past and the things I believed and told myself- I would NEVER tell those things or believe those things about my daughter or a young woman, or my sister, or mom, or ANYONE! Why do we talk so down about ourselves?
For the last 6 months I have been on a search to try and find pictures of me and my husband over the first 6 years of our marriage. I remember clear as day, receiving so many pictures from friends and my mother-in-law and just want to cry when I saw a picture of myself because I HATED it so much! As soon as I would get home, the picture would immediately go to the trash. I feel so terrible that they made sure I would have pictures of me with my husband… and I threw it away because of the way I felt about myself. Now, I don’t have any pictures from the first 6 years of our marriage!!
Miscarriage after miscarriage I made myself believe that I wasn’t enough for my husband, that I was not worthy of anything great, and that I was unlovable. I absolutely HATED my body- that it wouldn’t give me children and started to hate more and more the way I looked. This lead to more weight gain which then led to hating myself more! I would get so mad whenever anyone took a picture! I would be completely discussed with myself if I ever saw myself in a mirror or picture. I hated when my husband would put his arms around me and would get so mad because he could feel my fat on my stomach when he would touch me. I really struggled with who I was!
I finally got to a point where I knew that I needed to figure out how to change the way I felt about me so that I could be a better wife and mom. I started on another health and fitness journey to try and lose weight (tried MANY times with no success). But this time it was different! I was shocked when I had lost 10 lbs. Little did I know that I would actually lose 30 lbs and gain so much strength physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually! It was through the PROCESS of losing weight and trying to find myself that I was able to finally gain confidence and self-esteem. I can finally be okay with ME and finally can see the things that my body CAN do and am so grateful for that gift! It was through doing groups with other women where we motivated and inspired each other every day that I was able to really change!!
It makes me so sad to think about the way that I felt inside then… I was really struggling emotionally and just kept it all in and ate lots of food to somehow take away some of the pain. It makes me even more sad to see other women who are the way I was… I want to help!! Every day I pray for opportunities to help a mom , wife, daughter, or friend who is trying to gain confidence, greater self-esteem, love for themselves, the ability to lose weight, or happiness!! This is why I run 30 day health and fitness groups each month!! My next group is specifically to help those women like me! I am doing a group on “Loving Yourself”. I would love to have any of you join us that may be interested! The group begins the 1st day of February so we need to get you all set up by Tuesday evening in order for your package to arrive in time!! This will give you all the tools you need for great success (nutrition, fitness and support).
Please comment below with “more info” or message me if you might be interested in joining us! And thank you for reading this LONG post 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤