Anxiety and Depression

I am going to be a little vulnerable and share something real for a minute… not sure how to share it, so bare with me.

I feel very overwhelmingly blessed in my life!!! I have a wonderful husband, finally have the opportunity to be a mommy, have the knowledge of a Father in Heaven and Savior and Life after this… BUT even still, Some days are hard!! Some days I wake up just wanting to stay in bed all day and watch chick flicks and cry. I just want the world to leave me alone for only a short moment so I can regroup. There are days or even weeks that the thought of tackling everything I need to seems so hard. There are days that I want to quit everything because I am sick of feeling like I am failing at everything I love. I struggle with thoughts in my mind that continually tell me that I will never good enough. There are days that I HAVE NO CLUE why I feel bummed and just totally OFF– but I just DO– and feels like there is no way to change it!!

I have this gene mutation disorder that causes this thing called…. anxiety, and depression… many of you have it. When I first was told by a doctor that I had those things I thought “yeah right I do not have that problem!!!”. But it is one those things that you sometimes have to admit and GROW from it!!

It is one of those things that I have learned to accept and be OKAY with!! And because of that– It has helped me to be able to make a choice to SHOW UP whether I am in the mood or not! There are many days that I really struggle with getting myself to exercise. There are many days that I really would rather just try and eat all of my feelings away and eat every cookie, cake, piece of chocolate, and carb in sight! (sometimes I fall…. but that is part of life!! Even as a coach, I am not perfect and never will be perfect)

BUT I have made the CHOICE to take care of me, to exercise every day, to put good nutrition into my body, to try and best mom I can be– and make my babies laugh every single day, to make sure that my husband knows that I love him and appreciate him, and to accept who I am and stay positive and try uplift other people EVEN WHEN I AM NOT IN THE MOOD!

It is through making that decision that I am able to snap out of it like today and find so much joy and satisfaction in my life. Some days it is not easy to SHOW UP when I’m not in the mood. But I am DETERMINED to make it happen! What a blessing it is to be able to start new day, every day! So blessed to know HOW to get through my day with a positive outlook even when its hard! I CANNOT go a day without good nutrition, exercise, and studying books for my personal and spiritual development.

What a blessing it is to know that I don’t have to go through this life alone! So grateful for the strength that comes from friends who struggle with similar battles that I do (we dont need to list them all 😉  haha- but we all have our different battles) , a coaching community that totally gets me, and a husband who loves me regardless of how pathetic I am 😉  And most of all a Savior and Father in Heaven who love me and are always there to comfort, guide, and lift me!


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